Unbeautiful

Yearning for something more than what i have.
A diverse reality without an unanswerable truth....

With a battered heart, left against silenced words.
The insecure look in your eyes let me know how much you actually forethought about my own degeneration...

I ponder about the motive behind your actions.
It shows me how depraved of a choice i made from the very beginning, letting you enter such a fragile heart...

It seems as if you overlook the reason of the precious moments we both share...

So the reason for our downfall?...

Ask yourself that question.

What would you do? (A poem i wrote in like 2006]

IF U HAVE GIVEN UP ALL HOPE
AND AS EVERYDAY GOES BY, U CRY, AND KEEP ON TILL YOUR TEARS BURN THE PILLOW...

YET,

SOMETHING OR POSSIBLY SOMEONE,
WHO LIVES HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD, PROVIDES U WITH THAT HOPE AND STRENGTH U NEED 2 MAKE IT THROUGH ANOTHER DAY...



IF U HAD 2 CHOOSE BETWEEN WHAT UR HEART IS TELLING U AND WHAT IT DESIRES.
BUT THAT HORRID, BLIND AMBITION OVERCOMES UR STATE OF MIND
WHICH BASICALLY TRIES 2 TAKE OVER...

U LIVE LIFE SO FEIGN...



IF UR HEART HAS BEEN BROKEN AS MANY TIMES AS YOU'VE HAD TEARS SHED DOWN UR CHEEKS, TO UR SWEET LIPS.

YET U STILL HAVE THE STRENGTH TO SMILE, AS IF NOTHING HAD HAPPENED...


IF U HAD THE POWER 2 MEND A BROKEN HEART, AS U CONTINUE 2 HURT THE ONES THAT COME UR WAY.....

TELL ME... WHAT WOULD U DO?

You

Disowned from an abnormal state of mind,
With you astray from my presence...

Simulated with an instinctive memory of what has been, and could be...

Despondent on many terms, as if i may despair without a trace...

With the memories of your astonishing features, your cautiousness lingers within my heart.

To tolerate the fact that your gone, is too complex.

You were the never ending unity, bounded by chains, within my heart...
A grand harmonic of melodies that harness together...


Something i can't live without...You were the other half of me.

Something Like A Dad...

Since I came into this world so foul,
I had to tolerate the actions in which you display.
Though thay may deprave me, I acknowledged the fact that you were something like a Dad.

Although you've missed birthdays, graduations, && precious broad moments lost-which left my heart crippled, w| yet only a few veins left to rust...You were something like a Dad.

Even after all the tears that I shed.
After mom was almost killed by that oblivious knife which held her in captivity, && tears flowed down the warmth of her cheeks, as she took what she thought would be her last breath... && I was almost taken away...
You were something like a Dad...

When I was six years old, speaking to you on the phone after so many months of waiting...Crying out like an infant who's hungry and hasn't ate for days...Begging to see you, wanting my father by my side... Yet left w| nothing after so long... as the days pass it gets back to being how it was...No father to lean too... Despite that you were something like a Dad...

This ongoing complex situation between us...
Like a competition to win what's rightfully mine && should remain in the midst of all years ahead...

Because since I was born, you were something like a dad...

Meaning nothing...

Child of Rebellion

I am a child of rebellion,
A light toned minority of the U.S. ,
A child of much agony,
Born into this world as aspiration.
I am a U.S. born Puerto Rican, Chinese, Cuban.
Made up of the projects in the Lower East Side,
A broad-minded daughter of a man and woman who constantly ignite into screams as they cross eachothers paths.


I am chaos, the best kind.
The kind of nature that keeps mouths dropped, inferior words not worth listening to, and hearts left ruptured.
I am a demolished soul,
A bright persona that silently fades to black.



I am not alien, I'm just a complex being.
I am not penetrating though my anger brings out the worst in me.
I am not eager, i am mostly at ease.


I am unique. A 21st century teenager,
Going against that which i do not agree...


I Am Rebellion